remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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