I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
