dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
