Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
