Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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