somebody snuck up and got me drunk
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
