Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we're making bets on your personal life
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
