I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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