if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
