I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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