hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
