ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
