I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
