Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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