on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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