I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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