The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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