oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im having a threesome with these popsicles
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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