I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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