im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
