you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Randomize
