ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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