Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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