Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
