Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
