11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I need moral support for this bender
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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