I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
babies were throwing up all over the place
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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