I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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