Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
