Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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