Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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