that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
