im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
