last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
