oh god the rape fog is back!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
