I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Acid is not a monday night drug
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sobbing to NWA
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
