she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
