Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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