Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
