I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
