jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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