I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
