Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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