So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
