the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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