Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
