this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
