SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
