eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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