I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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