weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He kissed a someone with a penis
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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