she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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